Brain Drain

I was on the phone with a friend in LA last night. I was babbling about Olmert when my friend complained:"You can't just keep saying that Olmert is stupid!" . . .and then he asked "Why is the Israeli government going along with it?!"

I blurted out "Trickle Down Stupidity". He laughed and I realized that I had the script for today's cartoon.

* * * In case you live somewhere where the media is not keeping you posted ( i.e. most of the planet) here's some background info on

PLO threats

Palestinian incitement

Supplying them with weapons

* * *

So what's your answer to my American friend's question about why the Israeli government is following Olmert's lead? Do you have something better than "trickle down stupidity"?

Nu?

Sunday Mail: March 30, 2008

Posting a cartoon every weekday leaves no room for me to simply share news, ideas, and other stuff with you, so here's a Dry Bones feature called: 'Sunday Mail: Letters from Dry Bones'.

Item One: "Learning Hebrew".
A number of readers have asked my advice about "learning Hebrew". The trouble is that they almost never say if they want to learn Conversational Hebrew, or Modern Hebrew, or Biblical Hebrew, or if they are looking for a workshop where they can improve their Hebrew.

It's obvious that to learn Hebrew you've got to have a Hebrew-speaking teacher. Not just someone who speaks it better than you do. My advice, if you are serious, is to check out a remote-learning (or "virtual classroom") Hebrew program. No matter where you are in the world, these programs will provide you with real, live, Israeli Hebrew teachers who are in Israel! They have a specific program for your specific needs. Here are the links for
Conversational Hebrew,
Modern Hebrew
Biblical Hebrew
or, to improve your Hebrew check out their
Hebrew workshops for advanced students

Item Two:Israeli Taxis
I don't own a car and often take taxicabs. Where I come from, you can tell when a taxi is empty because its roof light is turned on. When the cab is not available, the light is off. Here in the cities of the Jewish State, the roof light of a taxi is put on to signal that it is nighttime and nothing else. This results in my signalling wildly at the driver of an approaching roof-lit cab and only discovering, at the last minute, that there's a passenger inside. I am then forced to save face by continuing to wave as the cab goes by, pretending that I had not been signalling him, but rather some other driver, in some other cab, somewhere behind his.

Most Israeli cabs have neat GPS map devices on their dashboards. I was in a cab in Tel Aviv the other day, chatting with the driver. He was not happy with his GPS map.

"I know of a neat place online to get some great GPS maps." I said.

"Where?" he asked.

"I don't know" I answered, "I wrote about it on my blog a while ago and I don't remember the URL."

He probably thought "Why does the idiot bring it up when he can't give me the address?!!"

What I thought was "Why does the idiot keep his roof light on when he can't give someone a lift?!!"

By the way, now that I'm back at the computer I checked, found the link to the neat GPS place and discovered that they're having a 50% off sale!! Click here.

Paper Tigers?

When I first drew this cartoon both characters were frowning all the way through. And the cartoon just did not seem funny ...so I played with the "mouths", first giving the mustached guy a gloating smile in panel two, then a straight mouth in panel three, and finally the "realization" face in the last panel. But it still didn't seem to work. I then took the frowns which were on the face of the blond guy and literally turned them upside down ...establishing that the (dumb?) blond guy is just answering a hypothetical question. Funny at last.

So did it work for you? Did it make you laugh? Even though it carries the subliminal message of growing Western dependency on a cruel, massive totalitarian state as supplier of goods for our creature comforts? And do you think that the powerful nations of the West have become "paper tigers"?

Nu?

Pessah (1983)

Today's cartoon is a Golden Oldie first published exactly twenty five years ago. March 25, 1983. The first night of Passover would be three days later on March 28, 1983. The first night of Passover this year will be on April 18th.

* * * Dry Bones is a running commentary on life from an Anglo-Israeli point of view ...and in the Hebrew-influenced English that we speak, Passover is Pessah. As the cartoonist I have to agonize over whether to have Mr. Shuldig speak in correct English or on the jargon that we speak. In this case the choice was obvious. Passover has eight letters. You try squeezing the word Passover into the space that Pessah takes. Notice that next to my signature I wrote Hag Sameah, Which is the way Anglo-Israelis say Happy Holiday in English

* * * This pre-Passover cartoon announces that Shuldig and Dry Bones are not just about politics. The enjoyment of our culture and our holidays is part of what the cartoon has always been about... and the pre-Passover intensive house-cleaning and the sweeping up of every crumb of bread are part of Jewish holiday ritual and culture.

By the way, three days later I had Mr. Shuldig going the other way and being totally political and Zionist for the holiday. You can see that cartoon by clicking on Passover 1983.

Olympic Flame

Just about everything you'd like to know about the Olympic Torch Relay can be found at the Official Website of the Beijing 2008 Torch Relay.

You could protest China's occupation of Tibet by not clicking on the above link. But do you think that some Communist Chinese official is checking their hits?

How is this whole controversy going to play out? Will there be a boycott?

Nu? So what's your opinion?

Yeltsin Seizes Power (1993)

Today's Golden Oldie is from March 21 1993. Fifteen years ago this month. On March 20,1993 Russian President Boris Yeltsin announced that he was going to assume "special powers" ...which prompted this snide and cynical Dry Bones cartoon. At the time, Yeltsin was seen by many as Russia's hope for democracy.

Two years earlier he'd been elected president of the "Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic" (and he would go on to dissolve the Soviet Union).

Yeltsin's battle for "control" continued until October 1993 when he ordered Russian tanks to shell the Russian parliament.

In 1999 Yeltsin resigned, turning the presidency over to Vladimir Putin.

Boris Yeltsin
Father of Russian Democracy?

Spring

Let me explain the story behind today's cartoon. First, some background:

* * * Friday was Purim in Tel Aviv. And local Christians were celebrating "Good Friday".

The next day was a lovely Shabbat.

As the Sabbath went out I attended a party given by some Indian friends to celebrate the Indian Festival of Holi. At the Holi party my face (and everybody else's face) was smeared with some kind of colorful paste that looked like "warpaint".

That night I had a late dinner at a local bar that overlooks the Mediterranean Sea. I didn't bother to wipe off the red "warpaint" because, hey, it was still Purim! On Sunday Jerusalem had its Purim celebrations. And the world saw Christians enjoying a peaceful Easter Sunday in that city.

Shabbat was March 22, the first day of Spring, and the weather has been, to my taste, lovely. The first day of spring is also Persian "new year" and a Zoroastrian holiday called Na Rooz (Also spelled Norouz, Narooz, Norooz, Nawruz, Newroz, Nauruz, Nawroz, and Noruz). The Baha'i calendar starts with Na Rooz, and I've been invited to the "Official" Baha'i Na Rooz celebrations to be held in Jerusalem tonight.

* * * I usually start my day by trotting over to my local cafe and downing a cuppa' coffee and perusing the morning papers... looking for topics for the day's cartoon. But somehow, this morning, I just could not force myself to go. When I realized why, I decided to do a cartoon about it.

So I haven't read the papers, and I'm still in a good mood, and hey, it's a lovely new Spring day, and I mean to enjoy it.

Oh, and Happy Na Rooz!

Purim Shmendrik Awards 2008

• The 2008 Shmendrik Awards
  Shmendrik: (shmen- drik) n. (Yiddish) a pathetic and foolish small time ineffectual loser, a jerk.
  
  Like the Worst-Dressed list or the Worst Movies awards, our awards highlight the activities of the losers amongst us. With these awards we recognize the achievements of those who, through their actions, have seemingly unwittingly aided the enemies of the Jewish people and the Jewish State. The awards are given every year on or about the week of Purim.
  * * * This year, for the very first time, Israeli Shmendriks beat out all foreign competitors and have made a clean sweep of the awards, amazingly taking first, second, and third places!! * * * Below are this year's "winners".

---

• GOLD SHMENDRIK - First Place -
  Ehud Olmert (Israeli Prime Minister)This loser was far and away the most nominated candidate for Shmendrik of the Year by Dry Bones fans. If you have to ask why Israel's Prime Minister Ehud Olmert deserves to be awarded the Golden Shmendrik Award, well, you just haven't been paying attention!

---

• SILVER SHMENDRIK - Second Place - David Landau (Haaretz editor)
  At a private meeting of some 20 journalists with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in September, 2007, Ha'aretz newspaper editor David Landau urged the U.S. to "rape" Israel - to force a settlement on the country. In a December 26 story on the incident, Jewish Week editor Gary Rosenblatt quoted Landau saying: "'I told [Rice] that it had always been my wet dream to address the secretary of state' on these vital matters."!!Background Story by CAMERA

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• BRONZE SHMENDRIK -Third Place - Dr. Zali Gurevitch, head of the Hebrew University Teachers' Committee that awarded a prize to a graduate student for a research paper which claims that Israel is racist because Israeli soldiers do not rape Palestinian women. The paper was published by the Hebrew University's "Shaine Center," at the "enthusiastic recommendation" of the professors' committee headed by Dr. Gurevitch!Background Story

---

And a Happy Purim to us ALL!

Purim (1983)

Yes friends, we are about to begin celebrating that wacky and surrealistic Purim holiday of ours again.

Today's Golden Oldie is a Dry Bones cartoon I did for Purim twenty-five years ago in 1983.

Below is Mr. Shuldig wearing a mask, doing his "Dance of Victory", and rattling his noise maker. To see previous Dry Bones Purim cartoons, just click on the "dancing Shuldig."

Watching the Media

Years ago I had a friend who had grown up in Soviet Russia. She later, as an adult, had lived in America for a while. She claimed that Americans were stupid. And she knew exactly how they had come to be stupid. "You see," she explained, "in the Soviet Union, when the Media reports that something had or had not happened, Russians try to figure out what really might have happened to cause the Soviet Media to write the 'news story' the way it was written." She went on to explain that Americans believed that something was true because they "read in the paper" or "saw it on TV" and so without this constant mental exercise they "had become stupid."

In the many years that have gone by since that conversation I have become as paranoid and as wary of relying on the Media as that old Soviet-era friend of mine was back in the Cold War days.

To understand the anti-Israel bias in Media reports coming out of the Middle East I have, for years, regularly checked with the Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reporting in America. For an eye-opening look at the situation visit them by clicking on CAMERA.

Olympic Boycott (1980)

Because of the Occupied Tibet protests, there is a lot of mumbling about a possible boycott of the Beijing Olympic Games, to be held in China.

Today's Golden Oldie is from 1980.

Back then, more than twenty years ago, U.S. President Jimmy Carter reacted to the Soviet Russian invasion of Afghanistan with a boycott of the Moscow Olympic Games, which were to be held in Russia in the summer of 1980.

Today's Boston Herald discusses the idea of boycotting the Olympics under the headline :U.S. Olympic boycott among ’worst ideas ever’ . To read the piece just click on -Bad Idea

So what do you think?
Should we or shouldn't we?
And how does this "bad idea" rank alongside of Carter's other contributions to strategic thinking?

Trouble in Tibet

I thought it would be interesting to check with the anti-Israel media today to see how they are reporting the troubles in Occupied Tibet and the current "Free Tibet" campaign.

The BBC, so quick to inflame the public with condemnations of Israeli actions, reports the suppression of Tibetan protests with this headline and lead paragraph:

China Denies Tibet Death Reports

"Tibet's governor said the security forces did not use lethal weapons. A senior Chinese official has denied that troops used lethal force to quell protests in Tibet's main city, Lhasa.

Qiangba Puncog, the Tibetan regional governor, insisted calm was returning to Lhasa, as a deadline for protesters to hand themselves in approached." -more

Reuters News Agency's headline and lead paragraph read:

China Says Using Restraint to Quell Tibet Unrest

"BEIJING (Reuters) - China said on Monday it had shown great restraint in the face of violent protests by Tibetans, which it said were orchestrated by followers of the Dalai Lama seeking to wreck the Beijing Olympics in August." -more

And Al Jazeera, in today's coverage calmly explains Chinese settlements and the movement of massive numbers of Chinese settlers into the occupied territory of Tibet this way:

"For several years government economic subsidies have brought an influx of Chinese migrants, under a policy groups like The Free Tibet Campaign group say is part of an increasingly successful ploy to make Tibetans the minority people in many areas of Tibet." -more

Your thoughts?

On China? and Media bias?

Sunday Mail: March 16, 2008

Posting a cartoon every weekday leaves no room for me to simply share news, ideas, and other stuff with you, so here's a Dry Bones feature called: 'Sunday Mail: Letters from Dry Bones'.

Item One: Israel's 60th Birthday.
In May 2008, Israel will celebrate its 60th birthday. Here in Israel, on the annual holiday, we hang flags from our windows and attach 'em to our cars. Because I like to buy new ones every year, I'm always on the lookout for something interesting in the way of flags, or bargains on flags. This year I found BOTH!

This year, in addition to the regular Israeli National flag, there's The Official 60th Anniversary Celebrations flag (authorized by the Prime Minister's Office). It's beautiful and is beginning to be hung up around the country already (alongside the regular Israeli National flag). You might want a few of these very special flags to hang in your office, school, dorm, synagogue, etc. The Official 60th flag sells for $49.95 but I found a place where you can get it for only $29.95. To see the flag (and the 40% off offer) click on Official 60th flag.

I'll be getting a set of one 60th Anniversary flag and also one regular Israeli National flag (at the same discount). I think these are going to be collectors' items. To see the "two flags" offer click on Both Flags.

Item Two: the JIB 2008 Awards.

After "sweeping the gold" in the 2007 Jewish & Israeli Blog Awards (story here) I decided not to compete in the 2008 JIB Awards competition, but instead to volunteer to design the 2008 awards and other JIB graphics. Scroll down to see a sneak peek at a banner ad for the awards which you'll be seeing around the blogosphere in a while. To take a sneak peek at the JIB 2008 website, click here or on the ad below:

Funny Money

The U.S. dollar is falling in value. It's making front page headlines in all of today's Israeli papers and is the lead story on most of today's European and British TV news programs. I chose to show the international reaction to the falling value of the American dollar by using barnyard animals and the old story of Chicken Little.

* * *

So what happens next?
Is the world teetering on the brink of an economic crisis on a grand scale?
Care to make a forecast?

Mobile Phones (1998)

Today's Golden Oldie is a Dry Bones cartoon from 10 years ago this month. March 22, 1998. I wondered back then about when would we realize the danger, and when would folks start suing the mobile phone companies. * * * Well, 10 years have passed and we're all still happily pressing these little microwave generators to the sides of our heads and zapping our own brains. Me too. * * * For some other cartoons I've done on the topic just click on mobile phones.

...and tell me, in panel one of the cartoon, does Mr. Shuldig look cool with a cig hanging from his lips and sexy bedroom eyes?

Different Democracies

Americans are divided by who they want. Israelis are united by who we don't want. A simple concept. An easy shot.

My biggest problem in doing this cartoon was whether to use "whom they want" or "who they want". I think of the Dry Bones cartoons as little movie scripts ...which means that I have to write in spoken English ...and which means that this morning while I sat at my local cafe (where I scribble the cartoon "roughs" in a notebook) I kept mumbling to myself "whom they want, who they want, whom they want..." and trying to listen to myself to hear how the two phrases sounded.

The folks at the cafe don't mind my sometimes strange behavior.
I over-tip.

the Zionist Congress (1978)

Today's Golden Oldie was published in March of 1978. Exactly thirty years ago this month.

The cartoon criticised the 29th World Zionist Congress for not dealing with the real problems that faced us back then. The punchline of the cartoon was that the idea of the Zionists facing the real problems was just a fairy tale.

Today, thirty years later, the policies of the current disastrous Olmert government raise new challenges to Zionism ...and demand a new, more assertive Zionist movement. Please see my previous posting on this problem, called the Zionist Idea.

the Zionist Idea

A couple of weeks ago, the organizers of an Israeli exhibition of cartoons about Theodore Herzl asked me to submit a cartoon for the show. Today's cartoon is what I drew and sent to them.

* * *

After the establishment of the State of Israel, Zionism faced questions like "What's left for Zionism to do?" and challenges like "If you want to be a Zionist go live in Israel."

I think that Zionists now, especially after the Olmert government's shameful decision to continue its policy of appeasement (even after the Yeshiva murders) have our answer. World Jewry needs to rediscover the Zionist dream. To understand that the State of Israel is a political entity which was set up to manage the Jewish homeland on behalf of its owners. Herzl's message seems even more revolutionary today than it was back then.

So what next? Do we need a new Zionist Congress?! Could the Jewish Agency and the Jewish National Fund rededicate themselves as representatives of World Jewry? Do we need to start a new 21st century Zionist movement?

What do you think?

Nu?

Understanding Israel's Neighbors

"Quem deus vult perdere, dementat prius" is a Roman proverb (in Latin) which means "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make crazy."

Yesterday a Palestinian Arab opened fire on a group of young people studying in a library/study hall in a yeshiva in Jerusalem. The names of the casualties were just released. The murdered were identified as Yohai Lifshitz, 18, of Jerusalem; Yehonatan Yitzhak Alder, 16, of Shilo; Yonadav Haim Hirshfeld, 19, of Kochav Hashahar; Neria Cohen, 15, of Jerusalem; Roy Rot, 18, of Elkana; Segev Peniel Avihail, 15, of Neveh Daniel; Avraham David Mozes, 16, of Efrat; and Doron Mahareta, 26, of Ashdod.

Below is the Israeli TV coverage of our Palestinian neighbors celebrating the slaughter of our children. Grownups are handing out candies to passing cars and tossing "sweets" to crowds of happy, cheering kids. The audio is in Hebrew, but I don't figure that the major News Networks are likely to be showing folks outside of our area what is really going on. Just click to play.

If the above doen't work for you, click on video Link .

His Ship Got Sunk (1988)

In February 1988 Yasser Arafat organized a group of Palestinian "refugees" and international supporters to board a "refugee ship" in Cyprus. Today's is the last of three "Golden Oldies" from February 1988 about the world-wide, front page event (which now seems to be totally forgotten). Previous cartoons are here and here.

The ship was called "Al Awda" (The Return). The plan was to sail it to an Israeli port, forcing Israel to either sink the ship (with the "homeless refugees", international "celebrities", and journalists aboard) or to let the ship land with its cargo of Palestinian "refugees" demanding their "right of return", its international celebrities defying the Israelis, and its on board journalists there to cover the whole story for the media.

Once again, a humanitarian crisis, once again the Palestinian Arabs as the oppressed victims, once again the Jewish State as the inhuman, cruel oppressor. What would or could Israel do?

I guess we'll never know, because, on February 14th, the night before the ship was to set sail (and before it was to be boarded by 100 "refugees", 300 journalists and 200 observers) someone blew it up.

* * * Almost 10 years later, in 1997, The NY Times covered a failed "Mossad operation" in Lebanon by profiling an Israeli naval commando unit called "Flotilla 13".

According to the NY Times:
"Flotilla 13 was responsible for some of the most daring attacks Israel has made over the years. Most of these remain secret, though some have become known.
On Feb. 14, 1988, a ship of the Palestine Liberation Organization was sunk in the Limassol harbor in Cyprus. Though Israel has never acknowledged responsibility for the attack, it is believed that Flotilla 13 sank the ship with a large explosive device. The ship was supposed to take hundreds of Palestinian refugees back to their homeland." -more

Your thoughts? Comments?

The Candidates

As I write this the international media keeps quoting popularity and approval ratings for Obama, Hillary, McCain, and occasionally for George W.

Six months ago Time magazine listed Olmert's popularity rating among Israelis as having sunk at one point to about two percent! I've heard recent estimates that his approval rating has gone up a bit(?!)

...the latest figures (from a Maagar Mohot agency survey) indicate that about 19% of the Israeli public is NOT in favor of Olmert resigning. A poll in the Maariv daily had similar findings. -details.

And yet the disgraced and fumbling Israeli Prime Minister continues to hold onto power, trying to negotiate away Jerusalem to the Palestinians and unable to defend our civilians from the Hamas bombs.

So whom do we blame? And what, on earth, are we supposed to do when our Knesset representatives have neither the will or the ability to follow the obvious demands of the public?!

Nu?

The Refugee Boat (1988)

Last week I posted a Dry Bones Cartoon from 1988 about PLO chieftain Yasser Arafat and his provocative Refugee Ship Ploy.

In the cartoon the terrorist leader is explaining some basic principles to his lieutenants, who are wearing ski masks. The terrorist portrayal of the Palestinian Arabs as victims has constantly been used to deny Israeli legitimacy ...they provide a "humanitarian crisis" cover story in which we are the cruel, demonic oppressors, and the media just eats it up and spreads it around.

Back in 1988 the media frenzy about Arafat's "Refugee Ship" was as intense and as staged as the Gaza crisis of 2008. Today's Golden Oldie is one of a number of cartoons I did as the story developed. If you missed the first cartoon (and the background info) just click here.

In the next Golden Oldie I'll let you know how it all turned out.

Israel in Hot Water

Prime Minister Olmert has launched an IDF attack on the Hamas war machine in Gaza in an attempt to stop the missile attacks on Israel's cities.

But will Olmert use Dr. Condoleeza Rice's arrival in Israel this week to explain a curtailing of the operation?

* * * Flash! Olmert hasn't waited! The news has just come in that the Prime Minister has suddenly ended the operation in advance of the Rice visit! ...According to DebkaFile:

"Prime minister Ehud Olmert suddenly decided on the pullback of Israeli ground and armored units from northern Gaza before dawn Monday before they reached their goal of halting Palestinian fire. Stage one of Operation Hot Winter was announced at an end. He was later attacked by members of the Knesset foreign affairs and security committee for aborting the operation in contradiction of the pledges he and the defense minister made Sunday. Both had vowed that military ground action would press on until the Hamas missile-rocket offensive against Israeli civilians was stamped out."-more

Your thoughts on the situation?

Sunday Mail: March 2, 2008

Posting a cartoon every weekday leaves no room for me to simply share news, ideas, and other stuff with you, so here's a Dry Bones feature called: 'Sunday Mail: Letters from Dry Bones'.
Today's topic is "shmendriks and heroes". We hear a lot about the opinions of the shmendriks but, unfortunately, very little about the actions of our heroes. Item One:Heroes
Major Roi Klein died sacrificing himself to save his soldiers in Israel's Second Lebanon War. He did this by throwing himself onto a hand grenade which had been aimed at his comrades. He cried out the "Shma Yisrael" prayer and then, with his own body, absorbed the deadly blast intended for them.

There is now a documentary film about this hero, who was a loving husband, and a proud father.
This is a movie about love between siblings.
This is a movie about a man who lived his life free of cynicism, in a time when public norms and basic values are repeatedly degraded by the shmendriks who surround and confound us.
This is a movie that you should see.
Please click here.

Item Two:Shmendriks
Nominations have been pouring in for the Shmendrik Awards. These annual awards (like the "worst dressed" or "worst movie" awards) “honor” those boobs (or shmendriks) who have most distinguished themselves by their seemingly unwitting support of anti-Semitism. You can check out last year's awards here. If you'd like to make a nomination, just leave a comment ...or email your suggestion(s) to me in an email.

The email address for Shmendrik suggestions is Purim(at)mrdrybones.com. Just replace the (at) in the address with a @.