Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pipe Dreams (1976)

1976 Dry Bones cartoon - Lettuce Cigarettes
You had to be there to understand it. The trauma of the '73 war (the Yom Kippur War to us) was behind us. Surely the unwillingness of "our cousins" to accept us as part of the Semitic family would fade with time. Surely the cycle of war could and would be broken. Or were our dreams just self delusion?

And then, some guy shows up in the Holy Land. A fellow with a dream of his own: a dream of freeing the world of nicotine addiction. His answer was... Lettuce cigarettes!!! And his plan was to have these lettuce "smokes" manufactured by Jews and Arabs working in harmony!

His dream of an end to nicotine and our dream of peace and partnership would forge ahead together! A small cigarette factory in Bethlehem was to be purchased. Samples of lettuce "smokes" were circulated in Jerusalem.

And then came the threats to the Arab businessmen... And the whole thing, well, went up in smoke. I don't remember the name of the lettuce-pusher guy, but I suspect it was Puzant C. Torigian.
Because at a website for "Bravo Smokes" Puzant C. Torigian writes:
"My commitment to a safer smoke has taken 40 years to realize. The pro net, BRAVO smokes, looks and smokes like a cigarette but is made from fresh lettuce treated by a process I have patented. Now, it is available to the public. Because of my commitment, there is a safer smoke."

Puzant C. Torigian refuses to give up his dream, and to tell you the truth,
neither will I!

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